Here i am contemplating about what i must be doing today. Studying or
not studying. After a movie, an hour of of spulrging, a snack of
nuts and listening to freedom by george michael on the idiot box, i
think we all know where this day is headed.
Now where does this much debated over topic come in?Yesterday, we hosted a dinner at home for some of my Mom and Dad's
friends from work. After a 4 day busy schedule at the conference held
in coimbatore, it was time to kick those medical shoes off and have a
darn good time! So,between the cleaning up of my room and the front
room i was getting the load on the big Abhi-Ash bolly-good wedding and
the full lowdown on the ramblings of the die hard fanatic
whats-her-name Jhanvi Kapoor or is it Naina?.
What a day it was! A big bolly wedding with all the whos who attending
it, a Big B look alike, a fanatic, and other look alikes hogging their
few minutes of the limelight.
Yes, so back to the big dinner. I met Janet, who's a Doctor of medical
education from England,Ralph and Debbie from America also in the same
field, Dr Rashmi, Dr Rita,Dr Bill and Dr Avinash. Some of them were more Indian than most Indians i've seen!
It was very nice talking to them. Americans have a very good sense of
humour i must say. And dry humour at that. All those opinions of a
nasty American society were soon kicked out of my mind like a football
racing towards the goal. They were very entertaining, very polite, very
passionate about their work, very humble people. They had respect for
not only people from their own community but also other commnities. The
driver who had accompanied them around told us that they had gotten
very close to all of them and they were all sad that they were leaving.
Now, thats what you call breaking the language barrier.
My mom and dad had an arranged marriage and they were all ears when it
was the time for story telling. Stories of how they got married and
how my siblings and i came into existence :) and how we settled here.
Then came the wedding photos and a whole lot of ooohs and aaahs.
Some of them had gone shopping and it was time for show and tell!
Vibrant Sarees with a lot of detailed prints and beautiful rustic
colours and jewellery. They were so amused by everything. And what i
loved the most was that they gave you so much personal attention.
So mum was telling them about the traditions in North India about how
they would choose a good girl for their son. They apparently would send
a fish to the girl's home and she would have to clean it properly and
send it back! Another way was that she would have to make those pappadams (forgot
what they call it in NOrth India.. the roasted ones) without burning
them!
So they asked sis and i if we were prepared for that! ha ha.. She told
them those customs were pretty ancient these days and we all sighed a
big sigh of relief and had a good laugh! :)
So are you up for an arranged marriage?
1. Secure
2. Merging of two families
3. Having faith in your parents decision
4. Adjusting with the man/ woman in your life
Or Love marriage?
1. Risky.
2. May lead to breaking up a family.
3. May lead to disrespecting your parents.
4. Responsiblity for your actions
5. Being under scrutiny
Mix of both?
Convenient. Everybodys happy.
In both cases,the extreme case, i think, is the worst. Otherwise i
respect both marriages.
Extreme case:
1)Desperately in love. Can't live without him/her. You've decided to
elope without the consent of your parents. Now thats crap.Total
disrespect.You've lived your entire life with your parents.They've
brought you up. And now you're acting smart and acting like you're an
adult. Absolute nonsense. Big stab in the back for the parents if you
ask me.
2) Arranged to marry some big shot,nasty snob with loads of money but
nothing else worth talking about. Pretty sad.
3) Getting married like before you can blink, and getting money/dowry
involved and the fact that you havent seen each other.
All you unmarried people out there, Please stand firm about not
accepting dowry or giving dowry. Lets banish this together. We should
because we can. It'll do you good.
Being dropped at the altar can be heart breaking. I know someone who
went through that. I don't think anyone should go through that.I'll
leave it to God.
Peace.
59 comments:
i would say arranged marriage is better than love marriage - anytime ... infact , from what i ve seen arranged marriage couples seem to be more compatible with each other than the love marriage ones ;)....
But having said , theres nothing wrong in falling in love and getting married as long as you understand your responsibilities and career goals . Nothing should hinder your career goals - thtz my point of view .
Falling in love at 16 or 17 is not wrong (as long as u find a cutie :D :D :D )- but yeah... i am sure - 9 out of 10 times you ll make a mess out of it - and worse - you ll repent for it the rest of your life .. you feel insecure about everything - love family career blah blah ... makes u think you are a loser when you are actually not...
So get into the right career path ... host lots of "machaan gang -dhum n thanni sessions " flirt with lots of cuties :D ... enjoy a "i dun care" life for 4 -5 years and then the D-day will come.
I liked the pappadams example ... should try that out when i look for one . haha
Debatable topic....Marriages be it love or arranged should have the consent of the bride and the groom..by consent I mean the whole hearted agreement of both...no parental insisting required...but then as you say shame on those who elope...for me loving someone then facing ur parents..with their consent marrying him/her..that would be a fairytale wudnt it!!!
...btw someone's been jobless!!! pudhu template..pudhu sidebar stuff..(:P)..pramaaadham
"Or Love marriage?
1. Risky.
2. May lead to breaking up a family.
3. May lead to disrespecting your parents.
4. Responsiblity for your actions
5. Being under scrutiny"
I see nothing positive there in those reasons :|
How about this..
6. you ACTUALLY LOVE the other person. :|
think about it.. my point outweighs all those 5 negatives put up ;)
i might have been a tad bit negative with the love marriage thing i guess:) good point. we can add that one too.
6) you LOVE the person
fair enough.
Thanks!
hehe.. you are welcome! :)
BTW i LOVE wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
veeeeery interesting :D
go wiki!
Dudette, does it really matter whether its love or arranged? You'll know what a pain the other person can be only after marriage, regardless of the type! The only difference is your parents can wag their finger and say "I told ya so!!"
All we can do is take life by each day, and have all the fun we can, but not at the cost of other people's happiness.
Still, you rock!! Atleast you have a blog you write in!!
" aaaaaaaaaaapil "!!!
can't believe you're here!! :) :)
good point.
This marriage thing is scary!
Guess we gotta just face the problems and live it up! bla.
:)
I think it depends on the person, background, and mindset.
My parents had an arranged marriage,and it worked for them socially and financially. It was good and well, until now when us kids have grown up. She says she has nothing in common with him.
I had an interracial love marriage myself. I find that the bond between my husband and I is stronger, and we actually have things we like to do together. We are more committed to each other than his family or my family and we don't have the arguments my parents and grandparents had. We have clearly chosen to put our relationship and family ahead of our parents. My mom is finally at this point after 25 years of marriage-of giving up her goals and dreams, of havign to give in to her in-laws whims and fanices all the time, of having both families starting fights between them...and the list continues.
I admire my parents fro having worked through this. But honestly this would not have worked for me.
well I guess in the end it all boils down to faith. Either faith in God (that you are married to someone good in the case of an arranged marriage) or faith in the person you are going to marry.
Matchless topic, very much it is pleasant to me))))
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