The human brain has always fascinated me. How could all my thoughts, dreams, memories fit inside my head? We're talking about compaction here! I mean, not only is it all there,but it's also organised, linked and can be triggered anytime we want. After years of being hidden in one corner of my brain, i can pull out a memory.
I was always amused by how i can still remember the smell of the oil that my mother used to rub on me when i was young. That rectangular tin of Olive Oil. I dont rememeber holding it or seeing it but the image and smell of it is etched in my brain.
My grandmother used to tell me stories about how she used to hold me tight at night when we slept. I spent a few months with my grandparents when i was less than a year old. If i were blind-folded and sent to my grandmother's room, i'd still know that i'm there.
Love. Now, that has fascinated me the most. What is it? Where does it come from? It's only when you're apart that you realise what closeness means. When i was with my mom's parents, my sister was with my Dad's parents,my brother was in boarding school while my parents were busy shifting. I guess that was my first lesson on learning to be away from family.
Quite like our current situation. All of us siblings are in different places.Despite the distance, we all know how much we mean to each other. No scientific proof can justify the working of the human mind and heart.
Similarly, it's only when you lose you're memory that you realise how much memories mean to you. My grandmother lost parts of her memory after a small stroke that she had. You'll be surprised how much you value your memories. I do. And i think a part of me was lost along with her memories. Because we had shared so many of those. All i have is my memories. My faint, blurry memories of growing up around her, of being with them during our vacations. Racing with my cousin towards my grandfather for who gets to sit on his lap!
I don't want to forget. I want to recount them over and over in my head. It saddens my heart to think that she doesnt remember. It's like a few chapters of my life have been skipped. And i miss those days. Those memories. Good memories. I will never forget.
Even though she lost her memory, i found them. Thank you ammachi for those sweet memories. I love you!
